Tonight I almost died......

Tonight, as I drove home from work
I went through an intersection where I had a green light
A lady on the cross street ran a red light
I saw her do it
I was there
I was in the middle of the intersection
She was going pretty fast
But she stopped
Right next to my door
I saw her face
She was terrified
She was telling me she was sorry, she was sorry, she was sorry
After I caught my breath and realized just where I was,
I waved to her that everything was alright
As I drove on I realized that two girls from work were in the car behind me
If it had not been me almost dieing
It would have been them
It's kinda strange but I am glad it was me
I know where I am going when I die
I am not so sure about the two girls

Rescue is coming.....

Moving on in life is the hardest death....

I have three more weeks here in Boise
I will be heading back to school in Texas and starting a new school year
I am going to have a tough time leaving Idaho this time
I don't know why
I have realized just how great this place is when I let myself be happy here
I know that I have almost no future here
I have to move on in order to pursue my career
But a part of me suffers every time I leave
I revisited places which have a lot of meaning to me
I saw people and did things that carry such deep sentiment
I think when we decide to move on in life and forge new futures, a part of us dies
Ever think of that?
When you close the door on a chapter of your life, never to return, you close the door on yourself
A tiny bit of yourself
We must always be able to look back on the past us and see where it was we once were
How did we become "us"?
How did we become the people with the dreams and desires we are now pursuing?
Don't kill the past, hold it close and never let go

A discussion worth my time....

Last night I ate dinner with one of my friend's and her family
Great Food, Great People, Great conversation
We started talking about Hebrews, then Ecclesiastes, then Hosea, then Romans
Really random but refreshing and enlightening
Hebrews = faith, simply because Christ loved us, faith without perversion and corruption
Ecclesiastes = life is beautiful when lived in the perfect will of God, even when it sucks
Hosea = beautiful love story of Hosea and Gomer, but really about Christ and Israel, but really about forgiveness
Romans = one book when you read it in it's entirety straight through, another book when you follow the natural breaking points and allow God to move in them
God is merciful, God is Painful, God is passionate about ME


Rescue is coming....

I'm just a little different.......

So lately I have realized just how different I am from the people I work with
Most of the people I work with are my age and in school
But I am so completely different, I really don' t like being around them all that much
The common topic of choice is what they did the night before when they were drunk
If they remember anything, it is usually completely ridiculous and stupid
Is this what "normal" people do?
when I say "normal" I mean those who are not Christians
I mean people with something in life and death to look forward to
I must say that it is a pretty excuse for exsistance
and that's all it is
Exsistance, merely going from one pay check to the next
one girl to the next
one bottle to the next
How sad is that?
I can not stand to stand there and listen to their school girl babbling
I have nothing whatsoever in common with any of them
I can't even talk to them about music
No taste, tact, reason, whatever.......
I don't fit in at all
And yet they they all love me
They all are super nice and friendly
They know why I don't drink, why I wear a purity ring, that I go to a Christian school
And yet they love me
Maybe that's why I am there
A light in a dark place
I know that's touting my own horn a little, but maybe just.....
I can be a witness through my actions and speech......
Now I am getting preachy........but it makes sense
Maybe God put me with those people in order that I might reach just one
He made me so sensitive towards their actions so that maybe I might not take after them
I have slipped a little
but I am trying to catch myself
So yes, I can't stand the people I work with
But I ache for their exsistance
I must love them
I must be an example
I must be Jesus to those He came to save.....to love them as He did



Rescue is coming........

Days of rest.....

So I have had the last 2 days off from work
Came home to see Yvette and Tony who are home from Virginia
We all went to McCall to go jet skiing
I am thoroughly addicted
I am thoroughly burnt
Literally head to toe
Was great times seeing old friends and reminiscing
Yesterday I went to see Transformers for the second time
Went with Ben and Tony
They were hilarious like little kids
then I went and spent the afternoon with Jess at the golf course
Now I am heading home to Boise in a couple of hours
I have work tonight
I got payed this week
Bought tickets for going back to school
need to pay my cell bill
That paycheck won't last long
So sad
Cannot wait to get back to school
Miss everybody there soooo much
Miss home sooooo much


Rescue is coming.....

Words so random they can only be mine

Simplicity Complexity

Fear Faith

Words Thoughts

Alone Love

You Me


Think about it


What moves your words?



Why do you use the words you choose?



What keeps you from saying the words you truly desire to say?


I love you


I need you


I hurt you


I can't be with you


I can't be with me


I don't understand these things


Rescue is coming...........

Don't cry please, I love you

Darling, I know I hurt you
I know it never works the way you want
I know you want to love some one and be loved
I know you cry when no one is looking

Beautiful, I ache for your broken heart
I feel your pain when you smile through hollow eyes
I want to hold you when you say everything is alright
I cry for you when you have no more tears