The Angels We Echo

Thunder roles and man cries out
Lightning flashes and multitudes clap
Winds rejoice and prayers are lifted
Angels praise and children worship

Heavenly hosts sing to the Almighty
Earthly bound sinners echo in futile attempt
Shining bodies glory in perfection
Broken we raise our hands in surrender

In our ruined and defiled state
Creator became like the creature
To bestow perfect love and life
On those who echo the angels

I am not behind the wheel....

Another semester done
This has been a rough ride
I definitely have had my lowest points this semester
Friends going separate ways
New responsibilities
Old disappointments
Old wounds revisited and healed
New dreams and paths
I have met a girl
I like her more than a friend
Our dreams, our goals, our visions are so similar
I feel as though God has brought her into my life for a very specific purpose
I almost feel completely inadequate and insufficient for her
I am soo afraid to push things for fear of loosing her
I have to constantly remind myself that I cannot loose her
She is not mine to loose, She is God's
I have been entrusted with His most prized possession
He has given me this most beautiful gift for which I am endlessly thankful
I must honor, protect, love, and cherish her
I am content

Thank you Carl Sandburg.....

I AM THE PEOPLE, THE MOB

I AM the people--the mob--the crowd--the mass.
Do you know that all the great work of the world is
done through me?
I am the workingman, the inventor, the maker of the
world's food and clothes.
I am the audience that witnesses history. The Napoleons
come from me and the Lincolns. They die. And
then I send forth more Napoleons and Lincolns.
I am the seed ground. I am a prairie that will stand
for much plowing. Terrible storms pass over me.
I forget. The best of me is sucked out and wasted.
I forget. Everything but Death comes to me and
makes me work and give up what I have. And I
forget.
Sometimes I growl, shake myself and spatter a few red
drops for history to remember. Then--I forget.
When I, the People, learn to remember, when I, the
People, use the lessons of yesterday and no longer
forget who robbed me last year, who played me for
a fool--then there will be no speaker in all the world
say the name: "The People," with any fleck of a
sneer in his voice or any far-off smile of derision.
The mob--the crowd--the mass--will arrive then.

I want to quit....

I really don't know what to do any more
I don't feel comfortable here
I really don't know what to say
I can't sit in my whole anymore
I need more, I need progress
I need to be able to scream
I am tired of being lonely
I don't want to be here anymore



Rescue is coming.......

Today I died.....

The most awkward and painful place
is to be standing in front of your friends
attempting to hold an intelligent conversation
and all they can do is stare blankly back at you
willing you away because you are no longer adequate


and then I saw this picture of this old lady.....she makes me hurt.....


Rescue is coming....

I have become less....

What can I say any more?
What can I do to make things better?
I have become nothing in your eyes
I have become nothing to myself

I want to mean something to someone
I want to trust myself with you
I have become less than myself
I have become less inside of You

You are everything that is good
You have overwhelmed my existence
I am no longer the man I fear most
I am no longer ashamed of what lies inside

I am not
I am full
I am dead
I am walking



Rescue is coming.....

You came from the summer lands...

Baby, green grass shines through your eyes
Sun shine yellow radiates in your smile
You fell into the nothingness contained inside me
You made my thoughts a winter solitude
Desolate and bitter cold
Save for the warmth of your precious touch
Summer breeze cradles me in your sky blue laughter
I love you dearest mine

House of Mirrors

Do you like what you see?
Reflecting on what you were makes no sense
Dwelling on what what has been hurts my eyes
Tears shine with painful light

Distortion clouds refracted images
Culture gives me double vision
I strain to see through shattered mirrors
Outlines of you, radiating from me

You become apparent through me
Light blinds in the mirror
A house of mirrors stands firm on a Rock
A Rock bleeds with irridescent grace

The end has come.....but yay for new stuff

So my time at the Boise Art Museum has com to an end
I am greatful for the experience and learning opportunity
I am also done at Costco
I made some awesome friends
I hope to see them all when I come back at Christmas
Now I am getting ready to start a new year of school
Flying to Houston on Wednesday
I am soooo ready to get back and see all my friends
It is time to move on with classes and my future
This was a boring post.......


Rescue is coming....

I covet your most sincere........

Friends, I covet your prayers
I have a burden on my heart
It is a burden of uncertainty, lack of wisdom, and fear
I am uncertain of myself and events I have set in motion
I lack wisdom to discern if my actions have been appropriate
Mostly, I fear the future
I have the greatest desire that I am acting within God's will
I hope beyond all hopes that what I have done was the right thing
I want to know that I am on the right path
Pray for me,
For clarity
For wisdom
For comfort
For love
For that which can only be known to the Magnificent, Almighty God


Rescue is coming........

Tonight I almost died......

Tonight, as I drove home from work
I went through an intersection where I had a green light
A lady on the cross street ran a red light
I saw her do it
I was there
I was in the middle of the intersection
She was going pretty fast
But she stopped
Right next to my door
I saw her face
She was terrified
She was telling me she was sorry, she was sorry, she was sorry
After I caught my breath and realized just where I was,
I waved to her that everything was alright
As I drove on I realized that two girls from work were in the car behind me
If it had not been me almost dieing
It would have been them
It's kinda strange but I am glad it was me
I know where I am going when I die
I am not so sure about the two girls

Rescue is coming.....

Moving on in life is the hardest death....

I have three more weeks here in Boise
I will be heading back to school in Texas and starting a new school year
I am going to have a tough time leaving Idaho this time
I don't know why
I have realized just how great this place is when I let myself be happy here
I know that I have almost no future here
I have to move on in order to pursue my career
But a part of me suffers every time I leave
I revisited places which have a lot of meaning to me
I saw people and did things that carry such deep sentiment
I think when we decide to move on in life and forge new futures, a part of us dies
Ever think of that?
When you close the door on a chapter of your life, never to return, you close the door on yourself
A tiny bit of yourself
We must always be able to look back on the past us and see where it was we once were
How did we become "us"?
How did we become the people with the dreams and desires we are now pursuing?
Don't kill the past, hold it close and never let go

A discussion worth my time....

Last night I ate dinner with one of my friend's and her family
Great Food, Great People, Great conversation
We started talking about Hebrews, then Ecclesiastes, then Hosea, then Romans
Really random but refreshing and enlightening
Hebrews = faith, simply because Christ loved us, faith without perversion and corruption
Ecclesiastes = life is beautiful when lived in the perfect will of God, even when it sucks
Hosea = beautiful love story of Hosea and Gomer, but really about Christ and Israel, but really about forgiveness
Romans = one book when you read it in it's entirety straight through, another book when you follow the natural breaking points and allow God to move in them
God is merciful, God is Painful, God is passionate about ME


Rescue is coming....

I'm just a little different.......

So lately I have realized just how different I am from the people I work with
Most of the people I work with are my age and in school
But I am so completely different, I really don' t like being around them all that much
The common topic of choice is what they did the night before when they were drunk
If they remember anything, it is usually completely ridiculous and stupid
Is this what "normal" people do?
when I say "normal" I mean those who are not Christians
I mean people with something in life and death to look forward to
I must say that it is a pretty excuse for exsistance
and that's all it is
Exsistance, merely going from one pay check to the next
one girl to the next
one bottle to the next
How sad is that?
I can not stand to stand there and listen to their school girl babbling
I have nothing whatsoever in common with any of them
I can't even talk to them about music
No taste, tact, reason, whatever.......
I don't fit in at all
And yet they they all love me
They all are super nice and friendly
They know why I don't drink, why I wear a purity ring, that I go to a Christian school
And yet they love me
Maybe that's why I am there
A light in a dark place
I know that's touting my own horn a little, but maybe just.....
I can be a witness through my actions and speech......
Now I am getting preachy........but it makes sense
Maybe God put me with those people in order that I might reach just one
He made me so sensitive towards their actions so that maybe I might not take after them
I have slipped a little
but I am trying to catch myself
So yes, I can't stand the people I work with
But I ache for their exsistance
I must love them
I must be an example
I must be Jesus to those He came to save.....to love them as He did



Rescue is coming........

Days of rest.....

So I have had the last 2 days off from work
Came home to see Yvette and Tony who are home from Virginia
We all went to McCall to go jet skiing
I am thoroughly addicted
I am thoroughly burnt
Literally head to toe
Was great times seeing old friends and reminiscing
Yesterday I went to see Transformers for the second time
Went with Ben and Tony
They were hilarious like little kids
then I went and spent the afternoon with Jess at the golf course
Now I am heading home to Boise in a couple of hours
I have work tonight
I got payed this week
Bought tickets for going back to school
need to pay my cell bill
That paycheck won't last long
So sad
Cannot wait to get back to school
Miss everybody there soooo much
Miss home sooooo much


Rescue is coming.....

Words so random they can only be mine

Simplicity Complexity

Fear Faith

Words Thoughts

Alone Love

You Me


Think about it


What moves your words?



Why do you use the words you choose?



What keeps you from saying the words you truly desire to say?


I love you


I need you


I hurt you


I can't be with you


I can't be with me


I don't understand these things


Rescue is coming...........

Don't cry please, I love you

Darling, I know I hurt you
I know it never works the way you want
I know you want to love some one and be loved
I know you cry when no one is looking

Beautiful, I ache for your broken heart
I feel your pain when you smile through hollow eyes
I want to hold you when you say everything is alright
I cry for you when you have no more tears

They tell a million stories.....

Calloused and aching
Soft and malleable
Cracked and bleeding
Strong and defiant

So many stories lay beneath scars
Tales of sorrow and happiness
Years of bitterness and toil
Hidden beneath tear stained hands

Up raised and worshiping
Praising a Creator Majestic
Hands that hold the world
Writing the tales of eternity

This is my prayer.......

All of You is more than enough for all of me For every thirst and every need You satisfy me with Your love And all I have in You is more than enough You're my supply My breath of life still more awesome than I know You're my reward Worth living for still more awesome than I know You’re my sacrifice Of greatest prize and still more awesome than I know You’re the coming King You are everything and still more awesome than I know More than all I want More than all I need You are more than enough for me More than all I know More than all I can say You are more than enough

I am here.....finally

So I finally made it home yesterday
Left school on Sunday after a long weekend of cleaning and checkouts
Got on the plane Monday morning, and got off in Boise 5 hours late
It was long, frustrating, and exhausting, but I am home
Now the seemingly impossible task of finding a job starts
I move to Boise on Sunday and start at the museum Monday morning
Rescue is coming...

My existence is gone.....

My entire existence here is laying in the hallway
It is a little sad and pathetic
Everything that makes this place my own
Can be wrapped, taped, and packed in a couple rubbermaids
But these things are not what makes here home
This place is home because of the people
This place is home because of the memories
This place is home....

Leaving home for....home

I am packing up my existence here
Preparing to move on to other things
I am leaving home for a time,
But I will return one day and make it mine
I will seize that which belongs to the future
I will lay claim on what is only to come

This is me....I am sorry

Underneath the sky we sleep
The sunlight in my eyes keeps me from seeing clearly
Deep beneath the stars im lost
The darkness in my heart keeps me from letting go
Of everything I fear the most

And now I'm alone
And I'm ashamed
Hold me in your arms
And now I'm sorry for what I've done

Tied around the mess I've made
The air I breathe much harder
Everytime I speak
The words you've heard a thousand times
Ive tried before but now i feel like letting go
Of everything that hurts the most

And now I'm alone
And I'm ashamed
Hold me in your arms
And now I'm sorry for what I've done

And after all is said and done
You pick me up no matter where i fall
( No matter where i fall)
You hold me in your arms
Forgive me when I'm wrong

And now I'm alone
And I'm ashamed
Hold me in your arms
And now I'm sorry for what I've done

And now I'm alone
And I'm ashamed
Hold me in your arms
And now I'm sorry for what I've done

This song speaks the cry in my heart. Listen to it. I am alone and ashamed of what I have done. Rescue me....

Hell is upon me

My hell has come for me
I am going to barely survive the next few days
Lord, strengthen me, refresh me, humble me
I pray for perseverance, humility, fortitude
Help me
Love me
Rescue is coming....

Let the ending begin

Today is the beginning of an end
After this week, I will move on
Half way done with this period of my life,
Half way to the unknown and unaware

I am alone here

Where are they all gone to?
Why am I sitting in this room,
Empty and silent, dripping and vacant
They are happy together in their place
Why must I sit here, watching, desiring, begging

This is a new start

My history is before me
That which I once was has become a shadow
Grace defines the very threads of my soul
My future is one of joy through turmoil
My Lord will guide and embrace